Mean Cards and Paper Goods by Flytrap

Mean Cards and Paper Goods

We try to stay away from evil, mean, antagonistic stuff. But, depending on how delicate someone's sensibilities are, these mean cards and other things are a bit more rude than most. Only give them to people who don't cry at greeting card ads, when fuzzy pink bunnies get injured, or whenever they blink.

Greeting Card CAT-H004 Funny Hello Card or Friendship Card, "Lies Women Tell” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT No, really. I'm fine. It looks great on you. Childbirth hurts, but in a good way. It happens to all men. You're not fat. All kids do that. You look like you've lost weight. Yes, I came. I'm usually a size 6. I love giving blow jobs. INSIDE Lies women tell.	Greeting Card CAT-H006 Funny Hair Card, Paper Greeting, Sarcastic, "Mullets” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Things that don't make sense #2. INSIDE Mullets.	Greeting Card CAT-H007 Funny Cats Card, Paper Greeting, "Woman With Too Many Cats” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Things that don't make sense #3. INSIDE One woman, 42 cats.	Greeting Card CAT-H008 Fun Diet Card or Food "Hello" Card, "Big Mac & Diet Coke” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Things that don't make sense #4. INSIDE Big Mac, large fries, sundae, diet soda.
Greeting Card CAT-H009 Funny Dog Card, Friendship Card, "Dogs Shouldn't Wear Sweaters” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Things that don't make sense #5. INSIDE Dogs covered in fur. Then covered with sweaters.	Greeting Card CAT-H010 Funny Friendship Card, Mean, Sarcastic, "Stop Crying, Pussy” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT I know it's hard, but please stop crying so much. INSIDE Everyone already thinks you're a pussy.	Greeting Card CAT-H011 Hello Card, Funny and Sarcastic, "Nobody Cares What You Think” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Rude awakening #1. INSIDE Nobody cares what you think.	Greeting Card CAT-H012 Funny Facebook Card, Friendship, "Everyone is Hiding You on Facebook” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Rude Awakening #2. INSIDE Everyone is hiding you on Facebook.
Greeting Card CAT-H014 Hello Card, Funny, Sarcastic, Personal Space, "Don't Hug Me” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT If you hug me right now… INSIDE You'll come back with two bloody stumps.	Greeting Card CAT-H015 Funny Coffee Card, Hello Card, "Coffee Smells Good, You Don't” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Doesn't fresh coffee smell great in the morning? INSIDE I wish you did.	Greeting Card CAT-H021 Funny Friendship Card, Hello Card "Unique Means Weird” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT You're so unique! INSIDE Unique means weird.	Greeting Card CAT-H026 Hello Card, Funny and Sarcastic, "You're Like Family” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT You're like family to me. INSIDE Without all the criticism and yelling.
Greeting Card CAT-H023 Funny Hello Card, Sarcastic, "Hope You Don't Get Hit By a Bus” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Hello! Hope you have a wonderful day today! INSIDE Or, at least, that you don't get hit by a bus or something.	Greeting Card CAT-M002 Humorous Card for Mom's Birthday or Mother's Day, "Junk Food” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Mom, I'd like to thank you for all the Spaghetti-Os and Mac-n-Cheese meals you made me over the years. INSIDE I must have really meant a lot to you.	Greeting Card CAT-P001 Religion Mean Card, Funny, Sarcastic, Atheist, "Jesus Loves You” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Jesus loves you. INSIDE Just not like your priest does.	Greeting Card CBD-B001 Belated Birthday Card, Funny, Snarky, "You're Not Important” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. INSIDE I'm even more sorry that you're not important enough to remember on time.
Greeting Card CBD-E002 Funny Happy Birthday Card, "Get Over Yourself, Everyone Has One” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Birthdays come but once per year! INSIDE But everyone has one, so get over yourself.	Greeting Card CBD-E003 Funny Facebook Card for Birthday, "More Than Writing On Your Wall" Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday. INSIDE I got you this card so you wouldn't bitch at me for only writing on your Facebook wall.	Greeting Card CBD-E004 Humorous Birthday Greetings Card, "Another Year Older Than Me” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! Here's to another year… INSIDE … older than me. Sucks to be you.	Greeting Card CBD-E005 Funny Birthday Card, Mean, "No Gift for You” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT I'm sorry I only got you a card for your birthday. INSIDE Not really. You're lucky you got anything.
Greeting Card CBD-E006 Humorous Birthday Card, Sarcastic, "Insignificant Age” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday. INSIDE You've just turned an insignificant age that nobody really cares about.	Greeting Card CBD-E011 Strange Happy Birthday Card, Sarcastic, "I Give You Breath Mints” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT I'd like to wish for eternal bliss and world peace on your birthday. INSIDE Of course, I'd be happy if you just started using breath mints.	Greeting Card CBD-E013 Funny Birthday Greeting Card, Sarcastic, "You're Getting Old” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Have a Happy Birthday! And remember, we're all getting older… INSIDE But you're getting old.	Greeting Card CBD-E016 Humorous Birthday Card, "Wine Gets Better With Age, People Don't” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Wine gets better with age… INSIDE People don't.
Greeting Card CBD-E017 Hilarious Birthday Card, Evil, "Could This Be Your Last?” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! INSIDE Could this one be your last?	Greeting Card CBD-E018 Funny Birthday Card for Friend, "No Present for You” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday to a very special parson. INSIDE Here's a card and nothing else.	Greeting Card CBD-E019 Sarcatic Birthday Card, Funny, "Your Not-So-Special Day” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT It's your birthday! A special day to appreciate YOU! INSIDE And about 18 million other people.	Greeting Card CBD-E020 Funny Birthday Party Card, Adult,"You Owe Me, Since I Showed Up” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! INSIDE There. I came to your party. Now you owe me.
Greeting Card CBD-E021 Humorous Birthday Greeting Card for Friend, "Older on the Inside” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! It's amazing you don't look any older! INSIDE At least, not on the inside.	Greeting Card CBD-E022 Funny Birthday Card for Friend, Sarcastic, "134th Birthday” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy 134th Birthday! INSIDE Oh, come on. It's close enough.	Greeting Card CBD-E024 Sarcastic Birthday Card, Funny, "Great Presents” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! I hope you get some great presents today! INSIDE From someone else.	Greeting Card CBD-E025 Modern Card, Birthday, Sarcastic,"One Step Closer” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Being called "Q-Tip". Becoming more cautious. Going bald. Uncontrollable urination. [click for more]. INSIDE Congratulations, you're one step closer. And Happy Birthday.
Greeting Card CBD-E026 Funny Birthday Greeting Card, "Don't Break a Hip” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! INSIDE I hope your hip doesn't break this year.	Greeting Card CBD-E028 Humorous Birthday Greeting for Friend, "Birthdays by Decade” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT How to Celebrate Birthdays! 20s: Get Drunk; 30s: Get Drunk; 40s: Get Drunk; 50s: Get Drunk; 60s: Get Drunk INSIDE Not everyone behaves this way. But you will. Happy Birthday, Lush.	Greeting Card CBD-E027 Humorous Birthday Card for Woman, "Twentysomething” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! You're almost out of your 20s! INSIDE And in light of that, I really think it's high time you stop dressing like a slut.	Greeting Card CBD-E029 Funny Birthday Card for Man or Friend, "Old Fart” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday to the Birthday Boy! INSIDE Well, actually, you're more like the Birthday Old Fart. Have a good one anyhow.
Greeting Card CBD-E030 Humorous Birthday Card for Friend, Sarcastic, "Old Bat” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday to the Birthday Girl! INSIDE Well, actually, you're more like the Birthday Old Bat. Have a good one anyhow.	Greeting Card CBD-E031 Hilariously Funny Birthday Card, Sarcastic, "Your Personalities” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT We all want to wish you a happy birthday! So... Happy Birthday! INSIDE Love, Your Personalities	Greeting Card CBD-E032 Funny 40th Birthday Card, Sarcastic, Mean, "You're 40 and I'm Not” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday! You're 40! INSIDE And I'm not.	Greeting Card CBD-E033 Humorous Birthday Card for Friend, Sarcastic, "Thank Your Parents” Quantity Retail Price: $4.00 FRONT Happy Birthday. Today, be sure to thank your parents for bringing you into the world. INSIDE Because a lot of other people are probably bitching to them about it.

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