Funny, Sexy Valentine Cards
Flytrap has some of the best Valentines around, hands down. Funny, sexy, provocative. The best part? Flytrap Valentines result in sex almost every time. Isn't that amazing! We've never taken a poll, but we're pretty sure this is true. So shop for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or partner. And laugh. Hard. (Wink.)
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Greeting Card CLV-H014
Love Card for Him, Man, Humorous, "I Had to Have Shoes”
Retail Price: $4.00
FRONT The moment I saw you, I had to have you. It was love at first sight. I'm so glad I found you. You light up my life and make me feel beautiful. I don't want to spend a single minute without you.
INSIDE Hang on a second. You're not shoes after all, are you?
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Greeting Card CLV-S001
Funny Love and Sex Card, "Long Term Love, Short Term Sex”
Retail Price: $4.00
FRONT My Love, for the long term, I want to love you, hold you, adore you, please you, take care of you, and make you the happiest person who ever was.
INSIDE For the short term, I just want you to do me.
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Greeting Card CSW-V006
Humorous Sarcastic Valentine Card, "About St. Valentine”
Retail Price: $4.00
FRONT Valentine's Day is about remembering important people...
INSIDE Like Saint Valentine, who was arrested for marrying Christian couples in Rome. He was beaten with clubs, stoned, then beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate.
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Greeting Card CSW-V007
Naughty, Funny Adult Valentine's Day Card, "I Don't Want Candy”
Retail Price: $4.00
FRONT I don't want candy, jewels or a rose, Or fancy cards with romantic prose. All that stuff I can get on my own, There is only one thing I can't do alone. So pucker up sweetie and give it a go...
INSIDE My pussy can't lick itself you know!
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Greeting Card CSW-V011
Funny Naughty Valentine Card, "For My Lover (Not My Partner)”
Retail Price: $4.00
FRONT A Valentine card for the person I really, truly love. I wish I had found you before I was committed to someone else. Click for more...
INSIDE Oops, sorry. I think I gave this to the wrong person…
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Little Mini Notes LLN-L001
12 Funny Love & Sex Notes for Him , "Smart Little Love Note”
Retail Price: $12.00
Twelve clever, funny notes for your spouse or lover. Including, "Sometimes, I picture us together when we're old. And I think, 'Christ! I don't want to see those wrinkly old farts knocking boots! Make it stop!'" And "You make me hot and wet. When I'm in the hot tub, I mean. " Click product details for more.
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Little Mini Notes LLN-L003
12 Funny Love Notes (Featured at Target.com), "Sweet Little Love Notes”
Retail Price: $12.00
Twelve sweet, romantic mini cards for your spouse, lover, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Including, " Thank you for making my life beautiful. " And " You're almost as cute as puppies and kittens. Maybe if you had more fur..." Click product details for more.
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Little Mini Notes LLN-L004
12 Dirty Funny Love Notes for Him, "Reasons to Do Me”
Retail Price: $12.00
Twelve hilarious mini cards for your spouses and lovers. Including, " I'll spray perfume down there so it's nice for you. " And " I'll be on top. You can just lay there if you want. " Click product details for more.
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