FRONT
Being called "Q-Tip". Becoming more cautious. Going bald. Uncontrollable urination. Creaking joints. Arthritis. Memory Loss. Higher risk of heart attack. Bone loss. Becoming your parents. Constipation. Decreased sex drive. Mood swings. Loss of hearing. Receding gums. Becoming a geezer. Wrinkles. Wearing glasses. Going blind. Weight gain. Impotence. Breaking hips. Using a cane. Driving poorly. Dry skin. Gray hair. Insomnia. Brittle nails. Hair in unwanted places. Hot flashes. Taking lots of pills. Bigger ears. Bigger nose. Losing your teeth. Being called "old fart". Walking more slowly. Trouble getting out of chairs. Weakened knees. Consulting more doctors. Losing things. Pain. Watching more television. Drooping nudity. Back problems. Increased gas. Tinnitus. Bifocals. Being confused by technology. Overstocking your medicine cabinet. AARP. Increased medical expenses. Going to bed before 9 p.m. Sensible shoes. Believing All music is loud. Becoming invisible. Having too many cats. Shuffleboard.

INSIDE
Congratulations, you're one step closer. And Happy Birthday.

Perfect for...
Old friends, friends who are getting old, and anyone who should understand how life changes as you age.

Occasions include...
Happy birthday, old person!

Helpful descriptors...
snarky, sarcastic, funny, hilarious, popular, blue and green, humorous