FRONT
Merry Christmas! Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you don't celebrate Christmas. Some people probably hate it. So instead, Happy Holidays! Hm. Maybe you don't celebrate any holidays at all this time of year. Maybe you even hate the holidays that other people celebrate this time of year. All the dying trees, obnoxious lights, and excess spending. I understand that, and I'm sorry if I've offended you. How about, Season's Greetings! Hooray! I've solved it! Nobody could ever possibly be offended by receiving some greetings of the season. Could they? But, I suppose someone might. Maybe you hate the cold and the lack of sunshine and the wool and wearing so damn many clothes you feel you can barely move. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to remind you of the season. Let's try this. Joy and Peace to you. What's that? You're not feeling very joyful and it's impossible to feel peaceful with all those lights and dead trees and war in the world? Aw, to hell with it. There's just no pleasing you is there? You don't like this, you don't like that. That's insulting. I give up. Just try to enjoy the next few months, if you can.

INSIDE
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Perfect for...
friend, colleague, boss, coworker, anyone

Occasions include...
holidays, Season's Greetings

Helpful descriptors...
sarcastic, sardonic, snarky, witty