FRONT Things your dad used to say. View product detail for complete text.

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FRONT Survive crash. Die.

INSIDE Sometimes 8 inches makes a huge difference. Sometimes, not so much.

FRONT I've never cheated. I'll call you. You don't look fat. I'm not married. My grandmother died. I made her come. We did it. She's just a friend.

INSIDE Lies men tell.

FRONT No, really. I'm fine. It looks great on you. Childbirth hurts, but in a good way. It happens to all men. You're not fat. All kids do that. You look like you've lost weight. Yes, I came. I'm usually a size 6. I love giving blow jobs.

INSIDE Lies women tell.

FRONT Things that don't make sense #2.

INSIDE Mullets.

FRONT Things that don't make sense #3.

INSIDE One woman, 42 cats.

FRONT Things that don't make sense #4.

INSIDE Big Mac, large fries, sundae, diet soda.

FRONT Things that don't make sense #5.

INSIDE Dogs covered in fur. Then covered with sweaters.

FRONT I know it's hard, but please stop crying so much.

INSIDE Everyone already thinks you're a pussy.